Anna Moore

Valentine’s Day just ended, so let’s talk about love.

We use the word “love” a lot don’t we? We use it when we describe how we feel about someone or even as broad as how we enjoy food. For example, I love pizza, but I also love my husband. I can see how the English language can be challenging for people who primarily speak other languages. We use the same words for things that technically have slightly different meanings.

There are different types of love. I don’t think I fully understood this until I got engaged to my husband. Through pre-marital counseling, I became familiar with some different types of love as described in the Greek language, which is the original language the New Testament was written in for the Bible. The Greek word “Philia” is often referring to a brotherly type of love that isn’t physical or sexual in nature. This would be the type of love I have for my friends, for example.

The Greek word “Eros” typically means sensual or passionate love. This one is physical. The Greek god of love was actually named Eros and many refer to him as Cupid. “Eros” could also refer to lust. I would say this is typically the type of love many have when they are dating or newly engaged or don’t quite have that full understanding of what love can be. We have an initial attraction to someone else, whether that’s their appearance or their personality or whatever the case may be. It’s probably a combination those. This is a good type of love for marriage, and should be there, but it shouldn’t be the reason we get married or why we stay married.

The Greek word “Agape” refers to the way God loves. This is a self-sacrificial, volitional love. I love how Bruce Milne describes “agape” and compares it with “eros” in his book “Know the Truth: A Handbook of Christian Belief.” He writes, “The common Greek term, eros, speaks of a love which relates to a worthy object, while agape is a love for the unworthy, for one who has forfeited all right to the lover’s devotion. The Old Testament has witness to this in God’s love for Israel (Deuteronomy 7:7), and in Hosea’s love for his faithless wife (Hosea 3:1, etc.). God’s love as it is perceived and experienced by us can therefore be effectively rendered as ‘grace love.’”

In other words, God’s love is unconditional. Though we don’t always show Him love and appreciation, He loves us no matter what. Though our hearts may be craving and desiring something or someone else, He still continues to love us. Though we have idols, He loves us. If you don’t read your Bible for a few days or you forget to pray, God still loves you just the same as when you remember to pray and when you are regularly reading His Word.

This is the kind of love that surpasses all understanding. It’s easy to love someone who loves you back and wants to give you the world. But what about when you fall short or don’t text back or call them every day or take the trash out or do the laundry or buy them a gift on a holiday that businesses use to market their product? As husbands and wives, this is the love we really should show to our spouses. As parents, this is the type of love your children should receive from you. Will you fall short and not feel like giving unconditional love sometimes? Of course! We are not perfect. But, we can still make that effort to love our spouses and children no matter what because that demonstrates the love God has for us and for them too. By loving unconditionally, we are sharing Jesus.

Milne writes, “The love of God, agape, is expressed principally in the redemption of sinners and all that goes with that.” This is the ultimate form of love. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God the Father gave us His Son (self-sacrificial) out of an abundance of love that He had and wanted to share with us. He didn’t have to, and we certainly did not deserve it. But that is God’s way of loving His people. It didn’t matter that they betrayed Jesus (Luke 22). It didn’t matter that they would deny Him three times before the sun was fully up (Luke 22:54-62). It didn’t matter that they were more concerned about what they would receive as treasures in Heaven than actually receiving the Lord Himself (Matthew 18:1-5). He loves us anyway.

If Valentine’s Day, or any holiday for that matter, makes you feel lonely or that you are undeserving of love or that your relationships aren’t as strong as someone else’s you see on the Internet, remind yourself of God’s agape love for you. Remember that you are loved, no matter what, and that will never not be the case. God will never not love you. He will never stop loving you. Just like a father, there may be some discipline required for your own growth and good, but the Father is always giving of His love, through Jesus Christ His Son.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

Psalm 23:1 NIV

There are other Greek words describing love, but they all have different meanings and depths. For example, apparently “Mania” means obsessive love. Who knew?